My husband and I were married 3 1/2 years when I noticed major changes in his behavior and, of course, our relationship. Evidence was everywhere of what I thought was an affair. After confronting him on my observations and finding out the truth, I would have gladly traded what really was going on for an affair. The missing cash, his long and unexplained departures from home, his aloof disposition, our fights, strange calls at all hours… I never thought a fairly successful 30-something, happily married man was capable of finding himself tangled up in a cocaine addiction. Turns out I was wrong.
The only thing I can recommend to a wife (or husband) trying to deal with a spouse in this situation would be to keep an open heart and be willing to listen. Don’t judge. Just be the support your husband/wife needs. This is the only way I was able to get my husband into drug rehab and get our life together back in order. I confronted him and asked him to just be honest with me… he told me that occasional partying had spiraled out of control and he didn’t know what to do. He had wandered off track and was lost. All he needed was the love and support of his family and a strong, well-rounded drug rehab program to regain what he had lost.
I recommend an inpatient drug rehab, even though it is hard to have your spouse away for a long period of time–especially if you have kids. But believe me, 4 or 6 months is nothing when you compare that you could lose him/her forever if you don’t put the time in and do it right.